Wanted: Roommate/Life Partner
My life partner Small Fry and I will soon be taking leave from each other, not because we want to, but because she’s going to homestead up in San Francisco and get shit ready for the inevitable day in the near future when we’re selling our ovaries to rent bunk beds out there together. This is very, very bad. Even though I want Small Fry to spread her wings (legs) and make the West Coast her bitch, I’m a little concerned that the next person to domicile up in here might not be so in to watching BET through the neighbor’s window when our cable goes out.
I’m praying to Sapphos that I’ll find a new, more romantical life partner in the next month and we can just live together, but I put an ad on Craig’s List just in case. Shockingly, none of the responses have feel quite dreamy enough. Take, for instance, the following:
I’m going to study at unc and well I need a place to stay…
I’m a brazilian guy, i’ve 27 at this exactly moment (but everything will change next month anyway) and I’m going to study ethics and philosophy for my phd thesis in unc… well I’m not gay but I’ve already divided and have no problem (in fact we have good memories…)…
well I will receive a fellowship to my research so i will have money to pay you and well although theorically I will pass all 2010 year in unc I think that I liked your ad proposal of temporary sublet….
oh my name is Fernando like in the abba music (I didn’t like specially abba anyway but I have some hope with cat’s candle (sic??)…
I still in Brazil (i live in florianopolis in the south…) but i’m going in january 1st.
While I’m glad he’s divided that my gay face isn’t a problem, I’m a little turned off by his email address, brasillastud69@aol.com, so I’m going to keep looking. Know anyone who needs a place in or around Carrboro? I’m not nearly as terrible a housemate as you’d guess.
The listing:
Room for rent in two bedroom/one bath condo behind Johnny’s on Main.
The place is nice–light and airy, with a large kitchen, washer/dryer, and dishwasher. It’s a hop skip from coffee, Wednesday night bingo, Saturday morning crepes, and weekend taco truck (one of the better ones). It’s a short walk from Historic Downtown Carrboro, and right on the bus line. The one downside is carpet, but I keep it clean. And the bathroom wallpaper is comically ugly. It’s available in early November and includes a nice double bed if you want it. I’d like to think of this as a temporary sublet, but something more permanent is definitely negotiable.
I’m a currently unemployed grad school dropout. Appealing, I know! Actually, I do freelance editing and write and I’m looking for other stuff. I’m 26, female, and very, very gay. It’s not like I have big gay orgies up in here, but my friends mostly vary between between sporty dyke and closet fag, so it’s important that you’re cool with that. I go out a fair amount, but try to keep the homestead pretty domestic.
Pets aren’t really allowed, but I think we could probably work something out if you have a mini pony or a baby meerkat.
Interested? Tell me a little bit about yourself.
Have any attractive, clean, and homeless friends? Pass it on!
krherzog @ gmail
Hello,
I am writing this email because I am just interested to know more about you and if possible we could have agreed to live with each other. I don’t know if I will fit you because I am gay. I write this email just to find my luck of having a partner. I am a responsible individual residing in the Philippines and a college instructor. Well my problem is I don’t have a visa to go there so might as well if possible also you are the one to come here only if you are interested. Let us exchange emails to compromise our deal. Thank a lot.
ariel